So uh it's no secret that i'm nowhere near as active as I used to be on dA. My summer holidays have come and gone and even with all the extra time I still didn't really become as active as I had hoped I would be. It's not that I don't care or any reason like that, I really do miss talking to a lot of the great friends I've made on here.
But I don't know, recently I've felt that...Trying to be active on here has become...almost like a chore?? It's like I'm trying to force myself to do stuff, because there's honestly so much I want to create and do but it seems that I've always got this list of stuff that I wanna do. But I'm either not at all motivated to do it, or the skill level that I have isn't good enough to draw what I would like to and when I do draw it I just end up getting frustrated and I don't finish it and nothing ever gets done. I mean I obviously still wanna draw and I still love art and drawing. But I just never fail to get this overwhelming feeling that I'm not going to do a good idea or a beautiful character justice.
I'm still practicing though, I still do little doodles in my sketchbooks pretty frequently. But in terms of the quality... I'm just not proud enough of what I'm doing to share it with others. I wanna at least like everything I post to an extent. So I guess I've kind of hit a bit of a block recently.
In terms of rping, I've not really been wanting to do that either. It's not that I don't like it, I love it! But it's just that I'll get this feeling that I'm wasting time. I know that something you enjoy is never a waste of time. But I've almost always got school stuff I should be doing and art I should be doing, and other stuff that I love doing like reading or practicing music. But I can't do everything...
But I think I've made a decision by means of what I'm gonna do under these circumstances. As most of you will know Hiems is the only group I'm still in at the moment, I was previously in a few others but I either left or the group got taken down. Don't worry, I'm not leaving hiems. I still love the group and I can't see myself leaving it anytime soon. But as much as I am seeing some other very cool groups around atm. For the foreseeable future I am just going to remain in hiems and that's it. I won't be signing up for any others at least for the rest of 2015 anyway. There's a small chance I might be doing some stuff in some groups that I'm creating with a few friends, but for now I'm putting that on hold.
There's also been a lot of change happening in my life at the moment. Unfortunately my cat passed away yesterday, which has been a bit of a struggle to deal with. And my sister is moving out of home at the end of the week. There's also a couple other things going on but hopefully everything will be much better in a few weeks time.
Now, as for how active I'm going to be. I'm not going to make any promises. I've got a lot on my plate with school and other stuff for the time being. So I'll try to post stuff as I draw it, and generally I'm gonna try posting some more traditional stuff. I also wanna take some time to clean out my gallery and hopefully get a bit of a fresh start.
Okay I think I've said everything I wanted to say. I hope you can read all that as it's pretty late at night here so my proof reading probably isn't the best and I really wanna get this up. But yeah I hope you're all doing okay and I hope to talk to you all very soon!!